We made it through a couple of months, in many relationships that doesn't seem to be a big thing, a milestone or anything report worthy. Actually in any other relationship I wouldn't think that it was a big deal, no other relationship is quite like this.
When you fought as much as we did, it almost didn't make sense to even be together. Fighting over little things that didn't seem to make sense were an every day occurrence. There were many things that just didn't make any sense.
One day there was a huge fight, a fight that had me so confused that I didn't know what was going on. I slid my feet into his slippers by the door and grabbed the trash and ran out to the garage. When I came back in I kicked the slippers off and slid them back into the corner. When Chris got home, he saw the slippers sitting there and one was a little out of place. Within seconds madness ensued. Chris began to have a bit of a breakdown. I have never seen someone come so unglued. I could see his face turning red and he started to sputter words like a lawn mower running out of gas.
I had always noticed little quirks and thought that they must be part of his personality. Although it was becoming obvious that these quirks were creating a hiccup in our relationship. Things started to get tense and I hit a wall. No one knew what was going on and I didn't know where to turn.
I was at church talking to a friend, who was studying for his master's in psychology, explaining to him the strange things going on at home. I explained that I noticed various quirks. I didn't know what was happening with our relationship, but there were always fights going on about silly things.
He thought about it all for a minute then he started to ask me questions about the quirkiness Chris had been exhibiting. As I told him more specifically what was going on, you could see his face light right up, he must've figured it out. Sure enough, all the quirkiness and family medical history proved it, Chris had Asperger's.
Other relationships, other examples of fights, other experience with diagnosed medical conditions, a bit of history of your relationship with Chris--these might be relevant.
ReplyDeleteYou want me to talk about other relationships, fights and medical conditions? Just clarifying...not sure what kind of history on the relationship I need to put in here.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your real topic is not aspergers at all--maybe it's improving your relationship?
ReplyDeleteSee my other comment on the aspergers question--your reaction may change the content and direction here. But generally if the problem is fights or relationship issues, then any information about past relationships becomes relevant. I mean, if you tend to find yourself with guys who become unglued by little things, then maybe that's the kind of man you are attracted to. That's a different problem than Chris perhaps having Aspergers.
I feel confident that I have more than enough evidence to back up my claims that he has Aspergers. It is a tough topic to discuss, because everyone feels as though a professional diagnosis is needed here. Chris, his family and myself are all in agreement that it is Aspergers. I feel as though it's easy enough to know if someone is suffering from depression and the family realizes it. It is not less valid, because they have not received a professional diagnosis. It doesn't make the issue any less prevalent...if you would allow, I'd like to tweak it a bit, talk about the background of our relationship and history and talk about what led us to believe that he had Asperger's. Maybe discuss what we are doing to change things, because we believe he has it, instead of citing that we know.
ReplyDeleteBelieve, not know, works for me, yes. I feel very wary of tossing around terms that can and do have serious consequences and effects on people's lives.
ReplyDelete