Essay 3: Contrast Essay

What makes Megan so awful? That she assumes that she must be better than everyone, because she seems to have it all. She’s average, not exactly a Harvard graduate. She’s educated, married and also happens to be my arch nemesis. How does Megan earn this title? Well, she earned this title by being overly involved in my life. She has graduated school, I still attend. She is married, I am not. She has a three year old and a new baby on the way, I haven’t even made plans for a baby yet. Megan and I are complete opposites.

Megan recently graduated from the University of Maine in Presque Isle and is now teaching at the elementary school in town. Ruling the second grade classroom is second nature to her, well that’s what she says anyways. I am still working through my business degree at Eastern Maine Community College, while working from home, a thankless job none the less. While I crunch numbers and pull my hair out, she is working on fun activities with her students.

Not only is Megan done school, but she is married. She married her best friend three years ago after discovering that there was a little one on the way. Megan and her husband are living in their new house with their new furniture and their freshly painted walls. Meanwhile, I don’t know when marriage will knock on my door. Even though I’ve been with the same guy for a few years, there is a lot going on that keeps us from making the big leap. Our house is not new, the furniture is not new, and there is not one drop of fresh paint.

Megan cements her status as my arch nemesis, because she seems to be stuck in a high school mentality. She constantly is caught up in small town gossip and spreads rumors as quickly as possible. She loves to keep up on everyone else’s life and share the latest scoop with everyone she comes in contact with. I prefer to keep gossip at bay and only repeat things that are true and necessary. I don’t enjoy other people’s misery.

At the end of the day, I put my feet up and breath, if only for a few seconds and look to the future and realize that although it’s taken me awhile to achieve what I have, I am proud of the journey that I’ve been on and where it’s brought me. Whether or not Megan feels the same way or not doesn’t matter to me. I’ve implied she is some evil woman with a  cape and a laugh worthy on only the most evil of villains, but truth be told Megan is like most everyone else; she is so caught up in everyone else’s business that she misses the most important things right at home. I think with time she will grow up and leave the immaturity behind and become an individual that supports people instead of tearing them down. While Megan is working toward becoming that person, I am going to be that person.

Graf 18: Progress Report on isearch

I need to tweak a few things, because the paper is not based on a medical diagnosis. It will change the questions and the answers to those questions a bit. I have found a few different support groups...need to figure out how to put that info in my paper....not sure if there is information worthy of mention, or just list as a resource? I have found several publications through google scholar that I had previously reviewed and those will help. I need to rewrite the background section and figure out what information to include here. I made need to start submitting these via email and not as blog posts.

Graf 14 isearch: Research Plan

My plan is to pull the experiences I have had together to formulate a series of obstacles that exists in relationships with an Asperger's partner. I will align them with stories or examples and research various articles from publications that indicate what can be done to overcome such obstacles.

It is important to me to not only answer the questions, but lay out some time of plan that is usable for someone in a situation similar to mine. I will try to get some insight from Chris, as to how he feels in certain situations.

I forsee a couple of issues, such as not find enough publications talking about Asperger's and how it affects relationships. It is not something you see a lot of information on.

I think that there will be several different websites that will answer some of these questions. It made be a couple that answer just one. I may have to tweak the questions and rearrange them to get a better flow.

isearch: What I Already Know About My Questions

Some preliminary research has proved helpful in a few different ways. I was able to determine that in Asperger relationships, the partner with Asperger's, often referred to as an aspie, has a difficult time establishing a romantic connection. This doesn't mean that they don't care about their partner, they just don't show it in a physical or emotional way. The aspie often needs coaxing, otherwise they state things in a matter of fact manner.

I know that it is important to enlist the help of your family and loved ones, as you will constantly need their love and support to help you through various challenges in the relationship. You also need someone to be a third party help. Someone who both of you can talk to, that will help you see each others' points. This can be a person locally, through church, or another third party individual. It is important to realize that an aspie thinks in an entirely different way.

isearch: Why I'm Writing

Asperger's is a huge part of my life now. I don't go one day without thinking about it. I think about it whenever there's a silly argument or Chris disregards that I might have feelings about something. I constantly am trying to realize that he is not capable of being like others in a relationship. There are things he can't figure out. Our relationship has changed, because our expectations for each other have had to change to be realistic of what each of us are capable of. It is important to me that our friends and family understand how Asperger's affects relationships. They need to know what challenges we face and how they can help support us as we face each of these challenges.

I want to answer questions in regards to how Asperger's affects relationships. What can we do to create a connection in our relationship, what can our families do to help, and what happens in raising a family. The scary thing about facing something that seems challenging is not knowing where to get information. I want people like me to know that there are answers and there are things you can do to help the relationship and make it work.

isearch: Background

We made it through a couple of months, in many relationships that doesn't seem to be a big thing, a milestone or anything report worthy. Actually in any other relationship I wouldn't think that it was a big deal, no other relationship is quite like this.

When you fought as much as we did, it almost didn't make sense to even be together. Fighting over little things that didn't seem to make sense were an every day occurrence. There were many things that just didn't make any sense.

One day there was a huge fight, a fight that had me so confused that I didn't know what was going on. I slid my feet into his slippers by the door and grabbed the trash and ran out to the garage. When I came back in I kicked the slippers off and slid them back into the corner. When Chris got home, he saw the slippers sitting there and one was a little out of place. Within seconds madness ensued. Chris began to have a bit of a breakdown. I have never seen someone come so unglued. I could see his face turning red and he started to sputter words like a lawn mower running out of gas.

I had always noticed little quirks and thought that they must be part of his personality. Although it was becoming obvious that these quirks were creating a hiccup in our relationship. Things started to get tense and I hit a wall. No one knew what was going on and I didn't know where to turn.

I was at church talking to a friend, who was studying for his master's in psychology, explaining to him the strange things going on at home. I explained that I noticed various quirks. I didn't know what was happening with our relationship, but there were always fights going on about silly things.

He thought about it all for a minute then he started to ask me questions about the quirkiness Chris had been exhibiting. As I told him more specifically what was going on, you could see his face light right up, he must've figured it out. Sure enough, all the quirkiness and family medical history proved it, Chris had Asperger's.

Intro 2: Contrast Essay

Have you ever looked at someone and just known from the second you saw them that you were two different people that would never get along? You look at her and you see someone who seems to have gotten lucky, had things work out so well, and you feel as though you could never get that lucky. Well, that is exactly how I feel about Megan. She seems to be everything that annoys me about life. The girl that can get herself in sticky situations and comes out even better than she was when she went in, that is Megan. She and I couldn't be more different. I'm committed, dedicated, motivated and working hard for every chance I get, she seems to get everything handed right to her.

Intro 1: Contrast Essay

She's smart, educated, married and also happens to be my arch nemesis. How does Megan earn this title? Well she earned this title by being overly involved in my life. She has graduated school, I still attend. She is married, I am not. She has a three year old and another baby on the way, I haven't made plans for children yet. What makes Megan so awful? That she assumes that she must be better than everyone, because she seems to have it all.

Graf 17: Reaction to Comments

Details, details and more details. That seems to be the key. Also, what attracts the reader? Trying to hook in a reader is quite a task. Do they relate to the topic? Well it seems as though whether or not your subject appeals to them, it's the meat of the paper, the point, that attracts the reader. Regardless of the subject, if the meat is good, they can relate. :)

Classification Essay 2

I feel like each day I am buried under a massive stack of papers. These papers are various sizes and colors and it’s almost as though those sizes and colors and stacks morph into this monster that chases me around everywhere I go. My typical response to the monstrous stack of papers is to organize them. Urgent, need to review and “put on the stairs,” are my go to categories when sorting through these papers. Invoices, over due bills, and IRS statements are more threatening when URGENT is stamped in red on the envelope. Then there is hospital bills, insurance papers, contracts, all needing to be looked over carefully. It’s almost as though my eyes avoid them, knowing that once glance and they are doomed eternally to read each and everyone.

My first pile of documents labeled URGENT, well that tends to describe itself. I’d like to avoid them, but doing so always means late fees, fines, or even worse. Failure to tend to the very details within each section is teetering on the verge of meltdown. Hiding in the back room is useless when the phone starts ringing and the pile never gets any smaller.

Need to review papers are no where near as stressful. I generally find them to be non threatening. I don’t stay up at night wondering if I missed anything. I simply review them take necessary action and move on. Smallest pile of them all, the papers tend to be neat, no red lettering, no stressful breakdown ensues.

Put on the stairs papers are the most bothersome. They are the papers that need to be filed, usually receipts and extra load slips. They make their way to the stairs and there they sit. Eventually the dust piles high and every time you walk down the stairs  you squeeze to one side as to not upset the dust or the pile. Upsetting the pile would be detrimental to my sanity, as there are endless little papers to keep track of. Usually on laundry day, once a week, they get tucked into the side of a laundry basket and eventually end up in the office upstairs.

Life often feels just like each stack of papers. We run from the urgent things when they seem to overwhelming, the need to review papers are less threatening, because they require no action. The put on the stairs pile of papers are like all the mundane tasks we must completely that get stacked somewhere and we don’t deal with them or take care of them until they topple over.

Outro Classification Essay

Life often feels just like each stack of papers. We run from the urgent things when they seem to overwhelming, the need to review papers are less threatening, because they require no action. The put on the stairs pile of papers are like all the mundane tasks we must completely that get stacked somewhere and we don’t deal with them or take care of them until they topple over.

Intro 2: Classification Essay

There seems to be this endless task of dealing with paperwork in my life. I can’t seem to get away from it, whether it’s my own paperwork, incoming bills, business paperwork, or whatever sneaks through the cracks onto every surface in the house, papers are everywhere. It’s as though my life’s work is to constantly organize paperwork. There’s the urgent, need to review, and “put on the stairs,” piles that always seem to accumulate and grow rapidly. Much like my life, always mass amounts of things to sort out, advice and counsel primarily and sometimes it’s just overwhelming.

Intro 1: Classification Essay

I feel like each day I am buried under a massive stack of papers. These papers are various sizes and colors and it’s almost as though those sizes and colors and stacks morph into this monster that chases me around everywhere I go. My typical response to the monstrous stack of papers is to organize them. Urgent, need to review and “put on the stairs,” are my go to categories when sorting through these papers.